Unrequited Love
by MalignantEnigma
Summary: It's Christmas time again. Lights, music, and all the in betweens of what the winter season brings. Lexa finds that some secrets are worth fighting for, or at least worth exploring. But Clarke has a few secrets of her own. AU/OOC Clexa
1. Chapter 1

**Unrequited Love - Chapter 1**

The bell chimed as we entered the little shop. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. The wood beams that spanned across the wide room gave it the coziest feel. It was warm and welcoming, and our favourite place to be.

"Hey, I'm going to grab us the spot by the fireplace," I said as I gestured toward the empty armchairs. We stomped on the welcome mat as we brushed off the snowflakes from our toques and jackets.

"Okay, perfect. I'll grab our stuff. The usual?" Her rosy cheeks and pink nose were absolutely adorable.

"Yes, please!"

Winter had come early this year. It was freezing outside, but even at this late hour, the snowflakes glistened as they fell in slow motion. I loved this time of year. Bright colourful lights hung on every building down the street and people were buzzing around town about gifts and Christmas music.

I sat back and exhaled in delight. These chairs were usually always taken up when we came here. Today, they were all ours.

I looked up and spotted her lined up, just about to order. I found myself staring. I could never help myself, no matter how much I tried to stop doing it. As she smiled at the barista, I felt myself curl a small smile myself. I caught it quickly and brought my head to rest against my palm as I leaned on the armrest.

I sighed inwardly as the smile straightened into a small line, until it completely vanished. My eyes watched sadly as she paid and moved her way to pick up the mugs on the far side of the counter. The skip in my heartbeats turned into small familiar aches. Aches that were so very consistent and ever present. I sighed again.

I've had what seemed to be the worst luck of any person to walk the earth. How is it that of all the people I could fall in love with, it had to be her? Love is such a funny thing that way. It is the single most influential reason that I am living this never ending roller coaster life.

She turned and caught my gaze for a second and I jumped, rubbing my neck in reaction, hiding what I hoped just looked like a passing coincidental glance. I turned and stared into the fireplace. The flames danced and licked against the mesh screen, the only barrier between me and the orange blaze.

I always pictured how I would tell her. I imagined every possible scenario. Maybe I'd kiss her first without saying anything and hope to god she was okay wth that. Sometimes I think just telling her straight would be the best, you know, rip the bandaid off. No bullshit, just straight fact. We've known each other long enough that the phrase, "I'm gay," wouldn't be a surprise, right?

No, that wouldn't be the surprise. The surprise would be when I tell her it's her I've been crushing on this entire time.

"Here you go," she walked up to her chair and settled the two mugs down on the table between us. "Just the way you like it," she noted as she made herself comfortable.

"Oh, yes," I grabbed my mug with both hands immediately. "That is the best." Quickest way to warm up, in my humbled opinion: coffee, a fireplace, and a cute girl. I kid...but was I really?

"So," she started with a coy grin, "any luck with that crush you were telling me about the other day?"

Oh, did I mention that I'd told her, but not really told her? Yeah. Smart right?

"Well," I was used to this dangerous game. I was the one who started it and so far, I'd done well enough to keep it the perfect white lie. At least I thought so. "We haven't actually talked much since then. I mean we did and still do, but he's just not much of a texter." This was true. She really wasn't the best at it.

"Pfft," she snorted and waved her hand dismissively, "That doesn't matter. Have you met him in person yet?" I may have told her that I met this 'crush' online?

"Once." I lied through my teeth.

"What?! And you never told me?!" She looked absolutely appalled, except for the huge playful grin she so beautifully mastered that made me weak. "What was he like?"

I smiled and shook my head. I pictured myself digging a very, very deep hole. And it was only getting deeper. "Well I mean, you can't really tell after the one time." It had been hundreds with her.

"Oh come on, there's got to be something."

I laughed as I took another sip. All I could think of during this lie was her. Not exactly the best combination to keep a lie straight. "Hmm...let's see..." I readjusted myself in my seat, bringing my leg underneath me. Might as well have fun with it, I suppose. "Think about it this way," I began. "He's fun and smart. One look would leave you weak in the knees." I knew it to be true, she did have a look I loved. "He's got this smile that would melt you if you saw it," I let my eyes roam across her face. "And he's sexy as all hell." I dropped my eyes to my cup, realizing that my eyes may fail me. She was so...distracting.

"Mmm." She hummed in approval. "Sounds hot. Going on a date yet? I'm sure he's asked you already. How could he not?"

"Ha, no." My heart lit up a little bit at her compliment. "Even if he did, I feel like I'm looking to something more. He's not really my type anyways." Boy, was this imaginary male ever not my type. If only she knew.

"Why not? I'm sure he'd be fun. He sounds like fun." She giggled. "I would." And that's where my heart sinks, every time. Always the small reminders that she definitely wasn't gay. Lucky me, like I said right?

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, he did come off as kind of an asshole toward the end of the night." Let's steer her away from this before she asks me for his non-existent phone number. "So I figured check him off the list and move on." I sipped my coffee again.

"Yeah," she sighed, "I guess you're right. Why are they like that? Can they just be normal for once? It seems like you can never find a decent guy around here. Mmm like that guy in our philosophy class—now that was a fond college memory."

We sat for what seemed like forever as I rode my wave of emotions the entire time. It truly was a rollercoaster in my mind, in my heart. I'd give and she'd take, but then she's give and I'd take. I loved talking to her, just being with her. My laughter was genuine. Her story telling was absolutely adorable. My smiles made my face hurt but I couldn't stop. My heart was full and empty all at the same time.

We left the shop, bundled underneath heavy layers of insulation, gloves and scarves to keep our sensitive hands and cheeks sheltered from the gusts of the winter wind. Our voices echoed into the night as we slowly walked down the busy street passing carollers and shop windows full of Christmas delight.

I admired her beauty in the changing lights. I ached to kiss her with each passing minute we were together. My fingers tingled to touch her rosy skin, or maybe that was the frostbite. I couldn't even tell anymore. Every time I heard her laugh, my heart would burst. I wanted to make her laugh all the time, just to hear it one more time.

She stopped in her tracks before I could notice. I accidentally walked right into her. "Shit!" I reached out and grabbed her arm to hold her upright. But in my attempt, I overcompensated a little bit and just yanked her right back. My foot slipped and I ended up falling hard onto the ice with her landing right on top of me.

"Ow." I said after a real long five seconds of astonishment. Then, she started laughing—laughing hard. And it was the most addicting sound I'd ever heard. I wanted to bottle it up. I chimed in as well, not able to help how contagious the sound was.

I'm so madly in love with this girl. I'm totally and utterly fucked.

I felt her weight on me settle as the bout of laughter subsided. "Are you okay?" I finally piped in as I pushed myself up.

For a split second, the world around me fell still. Everything but her. She crawled ever so slightly, letting out a warm breath, the fog of exhale revealing the sexiest, most seductive grin. Jolts of electrifying pleasure shot right between my legs. I hitched a breath as she hovered her lush lips over mine. Her hand trailed its way along my upper thigh, feathering every so closely to my throbbing centre. As she paused her movements, I saw her teasing smile. Shit. I snapped and pushed forward to close the dangerously thin gap when suddenly—

"Lexa, did you hear me? I asked if you were alright?" I blinked and it was gone.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat awkwardly. "I mean yes, I'm fine. Sorry. Yes. I totally lost it there for a second." It was all I could say, because let's be honest, I really, basically, imaginatively did, it seems. I gulped as I nervous blushed and stood up, brushing the snow off my pants. I offered her a hand.

"Yeah, sorry! That was definitely me." She giggled. "I wanted to head in here quickly." She pointed at the store.

"Okay, you go ahead. I'm gonna wait on the bench and get this snow off before I'm a walking talking icicle." I made my way to the seat set outside of the store as the door rung at her entry.

While I sat there, I watched the busy street and the people strolling through. I couldn't help it as my brain made me think of her. A couple walked happily hand in hand, another kissed underneath mistletoe. I looked across the street and there was a girl leaning her head on her boyfriend's shoulder. No matter where I looked, I felt lonelier and lonelier. My heart clenched and my breath shook. Damnit.

She came walking out of the store, as stunning as always and the clench on my heart gripped harder. "Here's something to warm you up." She offered up a small cup of hot chocolate. Did I mention she was an angel?

I took the cup with a quick smile and a thank you. "What's wrong?" She came and sat down with her own hot chocolate in hand. Everything, all of this, I thought. This isn't how I picture us and it hurts like hell. "Nothing, nothing." I stood up. "Let's keep going?" I managed to give a weak smile.

The next little bit of our walk was a lot of quiet nods as she continued to talk about how irritating the store keeper was. I, on the other hand, had my mind racing with thoughts of holding her hand, taking her face in my hands and kissing her at least once, brushing her gorgeous blonde hair back. I pictured holding her, keeping her warm.

"...but not really, you know?" She looked at me. "Lex." I barely heard her. " Lexa."

"Hmm?" I snapped out of my head. "Sorry, which?"

We were finally outside her door and I immediately wished we had more time together.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem off." Her look of concern made me break a little inside but I smiled for her.

"I got to visit my favourite coffee shop and spend time with you. It's beautiful outside and it's my favourite season of the year. Of course I'm great. Only thing that would make this better is a cozy blanket and a movie." I joked.

"You know I do have plenty of blankets and tons of movies." She gestured to her front door. "You are always welcome to abuse comfy movie watching privileges, like you always do." The smile she gave me made me wish I was brave enough to just scoop her up and kiss her right there.

"As tempting as it sounds, I've gotta call it a night. I stupidly have work tomorrow. I couldn't get out of it." I lied.

"If you're really sure you're okay..." she continued to urge on. I knew I'd crack if I stayed any longer.

"I'm perfectly fine." My laugh was as fake as the reassuring smile I gave her. My chest tightened with every word. Of course I wanted to stay. Of course I wanted to cuddle up and watch a movie. Just not today. I don't think my little heart could handle it tonight. "Let's do a rain check. I'll come over next week." At least I had that to look forward to this week.

She sighed. "Okay you win," she smiled, "next week." She leaned in for a hug I was not prepared for. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, you know. You just look so sad." More than you know.

"Thank you." I whispered and squeezed her tight. "Don't worry about me, okay? It's nothing, really."

As she went on inside, she gave me a wave and I made my way home.

I sighed with a shaky breath. The once painful wracking in me had since dulled to a persistent ache. I felt it every time and it settled deeper and deeper, making me a little less brave every time I saw her. Some days I thought, today is the day. Other days, my mental capacity just can't take the onslaught of reminders othat she'd never love me back. Part of me is okay with that, really.

I was okay with it, right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Unrequited Love - Chapter 2**

"Okay," I finally finished with the popcorn. I flicked the light switch off with my elbow and made my way into the living room. "I've got popcorn, you got the blankets—" as I said it, I turned the corner to see the ottoman pulled up to the coach and Lexa sitting legs stretched out comfy, already set for the movie. I laughed. "I suppose we're just waiting for me?"

"Quick, before I start this movie without you!" She said with a big smile.

I settled in, handing her the popcorn and buried myself under cloud of blankets and throw pillows.

"Are you ready for this?" I asked with a grin.

"Yes—wait why." As the opening credits played, my favourite horror movie title flashes across the screen. "What? A horror movie?! Clarke!"

I laughed menacingly. I knew she hated horror movies, but that didn't mean I wouldn't put one on. Besides, after all of the horror movies we'd seen together, I was pretty sure she was a closeted horror junky anyway.

"My movie pick. You bailed on me last week." She immediately hunched up the blanket around her face. It was cute and I got kind of a kick out of the whole thing.

"Fine." She grumbled into the blanket.

I turned to the movie when a throw pillow flew at me. "Wh—" I looked over at her smile and with a moment's pause, she burst out laughing.

Careful not to spill the popcorn, I ripped out my throw pillow and before I could get a decent swing in, she shoved me over, defending herself with her feet. I laughed at how utterly ridiculous this was. "That's probably not going to help." I grabbed her one foot for support as I tackled her with my pillow. I started poking at her sides, knowing full well how ticklish she was.

"Okay! Okay, I give! I give! I'm sorry!" She squirmed underneath me and for a split second, I caught myself catching a glimpse of her face through all of the carnage. She was smiling, her eyes piercing through the dark, and her body heaving from laughter. I watched as her lips parted breathing heavy, her mouth curled into a smile. God, she's pretty.

"Okay!" I blurted almost a little too loudly. "I win, movie is a go." I grabbed the popcorn quickly and took a handful, anything to take my mind away from her.

I shifted underneath the blanket subconsciously. I went to grab another handful of popcorn when I felt her hand in the bowl as well. My hand shot back like lightning had struck my finger tips and I felt a faint blush creep onto my face. "Sorry," I managed as I moved the bowl between us.

I peeked over at her and she was still buried deep in the blankets with her hoodie pulled over as far as she could bring it over her eyes. She still managed to munch on popcorn. We've sat through hundreds of movies just like this. Of course I find her pretty, I always have.

As the movie played and the popcorn disappeared, the only light was coming from the eerie scenes on the screen. I found my mind wondering constantly back to her; the profile of her face, the foot sticking out of the bottom of the blanket, her presence was not settling with me. I couldn't relax. My brain was just wired.

The movie ended and the final credits rolled in. She turned. I was staring when I didn't know I was. Her catching my eye made me jump and again, the blush creeped back in. Thank goodness for the dark room.

"Okay, that wasn't fair. We're watching something happy this time. Something with a little less...evil." She pushed the blanket off and stood up. "Washroom break then I'm picking." She announced as she walked down the hall.

I found myself watching her walk, watching her hips sway. Still with the ever present heat on my face, I tilted my head as I watched her bum move in her sweatpants. She always had a great body, even baggy clothing couldn't hide it.

For as long as I could remember, I've always had a crush on Lexa. Time and time again, I'm always reminded that she can't possibly like girls. I mean she's seeing that guy for goodness sake, or talking to a guy, whatever. Ugh, it's stupid how long it's been and I still can't seem to figure out whether I should tell her or if doing that will just ruin everything. We have a good thing right now, better than good. Doesn't mean I can't sit back and watch.

Yes, I've dated before. And yes, I sure as hell do have an appreciation for the male species. But as heterosexual as that may sound, you could say I've found my comfort in the fifty-fifty. I've never told Lexa that though.

I heard her bare feet on the tile in the hall as she made her way back into the dark lit room. "I'm feeling like a comedy. Something that'll make me laugh. You know a horror movie got to you when the closed shower curtain needs to be ripped open while you pee, just in case." She laughed and a part of me lit up at the sound. As she stood, she grabbed the remote and flipped through the movie choices.

My eyes wandered along her sweater back down to her sweatpants and back up to her face, hoping she didn't notice as I enjoyed the view.

She found a satisfactory flick, but I barely noticed what it was. She paused it for a second as she tossed the remote onto the couch. "I'm going to make more popcorn," she announced. As she made her way around the ottoman, she crossed her arms and tugged at the hem of her hoodie. As she walked, she lifted the sweater, revealing the taught skin of her stomach and just the tiniest glimpse of her bra. I swallowed as her head came free and her white shirt fell back down. I looked away as quickly as I could before she saw me ogling her, suddenly finding the particularly frayed corner of the blanket fascinating. She grabbed the bowl and made her way to the kitchen, tossing her hoodie.

I bit my thumb nail and I stared at the TV screen. This is going to drive me insane today. I leaned over and peaked into the kitchen from the couch. She just placed the bowl into the microwave and as the popping commenced, I watched her motion to tie her long brown hair back. There was something really sexy about the way she did that and I could feel my skin crawl in a dangerously pleasurable way. Her shirt lifted ever so slightly to show off that small strip of skin by the hem of her sweatpants.

I shook my head and sat back down. I do this every time. And now she's talking to that guy-what's his name? Whatever it was, he can go pound sand. Ugh, why me.

* * *

It was bright. Really bright. I squinted as I groggily shifted and looked around with a yawn. I stretched and exhaled as I blinked myself awake. The sun was shining through the living room window and the TV was still on.

I looked over to the other end of the couch to find a sleeping Lexa, curled up in the nook of the couch. We fell asleep.

I searched around for the remote to turn the TV off. I went to get up, but I realized with a slight bit of giddiness that our legs were tangled together very comfortably. I smiled as I watched her sleep for a moment. As much as I didn't want to move, I really, really had to go to the bathroom.

With careful sloth-like movements, I pulled my legs from hers and crept out quitely. When I saw the shower curtain pulled back, I giggled a little bit, remembering last night. Oh boy, I sighed as the image of her in the kitchen flew across my mind. I need a shower.


	3. Chapter 3

**Unrequited Love - Chapter 3**

"Clarke! Over here!" I yelled from one of the open bar tables. I waved her down as I saw a glimpse of her at the front entrance.

It was Octavia's little birthday bash and her brother owned the pub. They were Clarke's childhood friends, not mine, but as the years came and went, they turned out to be pretty cool people. The place was packed with everyone in town because, as per tradition, this place filled up when there's a party buzzing on everyone's lips.

I waved at Bellamy who was manning the bar, pointing out and yelling through the music and crowd noise that Clarke would need a drink. With a wink, he went to work.

I turned again to see if I could make out where Clarke was. But as soon as she came into view, my whole spinning and buzzing world slowed right down. I watched her move through the cloud like she was gliding effortlessly. She had a wide smile plastered to her face as every person she passed greeted her. She gave hugs where hugs were due, and small talk where small talk was given. She lit up the room, and it wasn't even her birthday party. Still, the way her hips swayed as she made her way towards me had me weak.

"Hi!" she yelled and came over and hugged me. The atmosphere was electric.

"How nice of you to join us." I said. It was snowing tonight and it was evident in the sparks of snowflakes in her blonde tresses. The weather, however, didn't seem to affect her choice of wardrobe underneath her trench coat. I gulped as she slipped the jacket off her shoulders, revealing a sexy corset top that showed off every curve of her body, her curls dancing around her bare shoulders. Fuck, really?

"Sorry I'm late," she started. We both looked at each other for a second and if it weren't for the copious amounts of alcohol I had already consumed, I would think she was blushing. It can't have been about this morning?

I woke up on the couch after our long night of movies but Clarke wasn't there. I had assumed she had gone up to her actual bed where it would be much comfier than the couch. So, after a stretch and a yawn, I made my way over to the bathroom, sleep still clouding my judgement. I mean, I didn't hear anything, and the light switch is on the inside of the bathroom.

I opened up the door, fully expecting it to be empty, but wow was I wrong.

Clarke screamed, then I screamed. She had just wrapped the towel around herself but I'd be lying if I said that helped. Towel or no towel, my mind had gone to places it really shouldn't have.

I shook my head at the memory, fully aware that my face was burning at the thought.

As if on cue, Bellamy came over with two beers, one for Clarke and another for me. "Here you go, ladies." He said in all of his charm, flashing us his prize-winning smile that would make any girl swoon. I had always thought maybe there was a thing between Clarke and Bellamy, given their history. But that was a conversation I had yet to have. "Ice cold and on the house."

Clarke's smile was just as charming, if not more so. "You really don't have to, Bellamy."

"It's my sister's birthday. It's not a matter of having to, but wanting to." He winked and took my empty glass and headed back to the bar.

"Cheers," I said as I raised my glass.

"Cheers." She stared at me with those piercing eyes just above the rim of her glass. God, my head was spinning.

"Guys!" Bounding through the sea of people was none other than the birthday girl herself. "You're here!" She slouched her arms around the both of us, clearly very very drunk, as she should be. "I'm so glad you guys could make it."

Clarke and I laughed. "Of course, we wouldn't miss it for the world." I gestured to the surrounding party. "You always throw a good party."

Clarke piped up. "Give me two seconds," she stood and made her way over to the bar. I shamelessly let my eyes wonder over her.

"Haven't told her yet, have you?" Octavia slurred as she took another sip of the beer she had been nursing.

"You're lucky you were smart enough to figure it out."

"Figure it out? Girl, it's all over your face. If you really didn't want anyone finding out, you really should work on that." She tapped by nose, still leaning on me with her arm slumped around my shoulder. Octavia has been my only source of sanity. She not only is an awesome friend, she's good at keeping secrets, especially from the close one.

"It can't be that obvious," I bawked.

"Oh, you don't even know."

"The way I see it, there's two ways this could go," I started. "She is nice about the whole thing, tells me she's flattered," I let me hands show my doubt, "or she is completely weirded out by the whole thing and she stops talking to me."

"What about the third option," Octavia lifted her hands to show three fingers.

"There is no third option."

She shook her head. "No, no. There is. What if she likes you back?"

I gave her the most doubtful look and chuckled as I shook my head. "You're nuts. You know why I never let that be option three?" I looked back at Clarke who leaned over the counter to whisper something into Bellamy's ear. I sighed and took a swig of my drink. "Becuase she doesn't bat for the same team."

Octavia followed my gazed. "Well, just because she's over there doesn't mean she wouldn't like you."

"If there's something you know that I don't, please do tell." I raised my eyebrow at her. I may not have known Clarke as long as she has, but I could bet I knew her better than most.

"Oh, you'd be surprised." Everything I thought I knew, gone and chucked out the window.

Before I could pester her further about what she meant, Clarke expertly carried three double shots of something that looked too dark to be anything that tasted good.

"Have I got a surprise for you ladies." She laid them down on the table and clasped her hands together proudly.

"What..." Octavia stared at the drinks.

"...the fuck..." I said as I lifted one to eye level against the light, trying to see through this strange liquid.

"...are those." Octavia finished, giving Clarke a look before she shot her brother a look at the bar. Not suprisingly, Bellamy gave his charming grin and a playful salute, mouthing 'happy birthday'.

Clarke and I locked eyes. I held the gaze, all inhibitions out the window, letting alcohol take over. I dropped my gaze quickly to her lips then back up, never missing a beat. I watched her face grow pink, or maybe I imagined it.

"They're not going to kill you," Clarke laughed as she leaned forward onto her elbows in the sexist possible way. I caught the way she swayed her hips ever so slightly to the music blaring in the bar.

"They really actually look like they will." I replied. Her chest looked absolutely amazing in that top, and the way she moved and swayed accentuated her cleavage in very impressive ways. I leaned forward myself, leaning on my elbows for leverage. My head was swimming. I flashed a quick look at Octavia then back down at the shot in Clarke's hand. Option three, huh?

I knew I was drunk. Of course I was drunk. There are times when you think, I'm good, I'm good. But then there are times where you know you've had one too many and you start feeling dangerously invincible, like not a single consquence in the world could stop you.

I brushed a small bit of stray hair from her shoulder for a second. "You look very pretty today." Can't be an option three, can there?

"I was going to say the same to you." She didn't move.

I shook my head. "No, not at all the same thing. Trust me." I then let my hand down and made sure my fingers grazed the back of her hand as I slipped the shot out of her grasp. "Cheers." I whispered.

I heard Octavia clear her throat. "Clarke," she was smirking with her own shot in hand, motioning for Clarke to pick up the last one. "Here goes nothing!"

As the night went on, the music screamed through the tall speakers, the lights were low, and bodies crashed together, sweat and smoke filling the air. Friends and family enjoying the night and glasses were never empty. Christmas lights were looking out of place in this melting pot of light and sound.

There was a break in the music as the screeching feedback from the microphone whistled through the air.

I was standing at the far side of the bar with Clarke, peaking over to see Bellamy in all his splendor, top few buttons of his shirt undone and his waving dark hair damp. "Everyone! Here's to the birthday girl! My sister, my best friend. I don't know where I'd be without her. And here's to the friends and family that came to celebrate with us." He raised his glass. "Cheers!" In a moving unison, the whole bar reponded with tapped glasses and cheers and the music started up again.

"Hey," I yelled. She looked up at me but I don't think she could hear me. I leaned down, heads close together, my cheek grazing hers ever so slightly. "I'm going to head outside for a minute. I need some fresh air." I bet my voice was deafening but when I pulled away to look at her, she nodded as if to say, 'okay, let's go.'

With a huge mash of people ahead of us, I instinctively grabbed her hand and lead her to the front door. With a quick detour to our table to grab our jackets, we slowly made our way to the front.

"Ahh, the cold air feels so nice!" Clarke spread her arms out, her trench coat still wide open and her breath forming little clouds. She was stunning. She spun around on the sidewalk where the snow was falling lightly. I had lost track of time but seeing all of the lights down the street and people walking, laughing, it looked like the night was still young. "What?" she gave me a curious look.

"Hmm?"

"What is it?"

"What's what?" I must be staring. I couldn't help it and I really didn't want to stop.

She walked over to me slowly, smiling. She stood very very close to me, barely an inch of space between us. I was trying to focus on standing still, in fear that taking a step would lead to another major slip. She trailed her hand up the arm of my jacket, her eyes following her fingers. It gave me shivers, even though I could barely feel it. With a low, almost seductive whisper, she responded with a slight teasing smile. "You're staring."

I swallowed, completely still, not able to move a muscle. My breathing shallow, heart racing, head spinning. I dropped my head ever so slightly, feeling the space between us lessen. I saw her eyes flutter shut and I felt her warm breath on my lips.

"There you guys are." Bellamy poked his head out from the front entrance and we both jumped away from each other like we were instantly shocked by a strong bolt of lightning. "Hurry, I'm about to bring out the cake." And he disappeared, as quickly as he came. I fidgetted with the sleeves of my jacket and looked everywhere but at her. My face was burning. Damnit.

"Um, right." Was all I could muster as we both headed back inside. Damnit, I cursed again. Damnit Bellamy. Damnit Octavia. Just, damnit, because I couldn't think of anything else but option three.


	4. Chapter 4

**Unrequited Love - Chapter 4**

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I held my head in my hands, groaning at the humongous hangover that hit me like a boulder when I woke up. Lexa was sound asleep beside me, tucked securely underneath the covers with just her face peering out at me. She was peaceful with the slight sounds of gentle snoring. I stood and walked over to her side and brushed the hair away from her face. She was unbelievably adorable.

Taking in the surroundings, I remembered that we had crashed at Bellamy's place just above the bar. The apartment was a simple bachelor suite with cool innovative space saving features. Like this room, for example. The only thing separating us from the living room was a floor to ceiling sliding wall. Even to this day, I found it to be the perfect feature to this very male pad.

I tip-toed over to open up the wall. As I crept out, Bellamy was just about to pour himself a coffee while simultaneously sliding his shirt on. At the sounds of the wall, he turned and smiled. "Good morning, sunshine." His voice was hoarse, his hair was a mess, but his smile was always so pure.

"Good morning." I was still fully clad in my party wear and I instantly felt even more disgusting, if that were possible. "Ugh, I feel like a bag of shit."

"That makes two of us. Coffee?"

I nodded as I slumped over to the leather couch. "Would you believe me if I said I have no idea how I got up here?"

Bellamy walked over to me with my much needed black coffee, freshly brewed. "I'm pretty sure you and Lexa stumbled up here together. I gave you my keys and the next time I saw you guys, you were both completely passed out on my bed-" He looked at me and gestured for me to hush. "-which I didn't mind at all. I was going to suggest it anyway."

"Bell, always the chivalrous one." I took the mug and gratefully cupped it's entirety with my hands. The warmth was very comforting.

"So," Bellamy sat beside me, lifting his feet, crossing them on the coffee table. "Did you tell her yet?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No." I admitted with a sigh.

He's known about my little crush on Lexa for a long time now. I slipped once and he just wouldn't shut up about it, so told him. But it's Bellamy, if anyone had to know, I would have chosen him over and over again. Nothing expresses how grateful I am to have him as one of my dearest friends.

"You two looked quite cozy outside last night. I hate to have interrupted anything."

My face burned bright. "As a matter of fact, you did interrupt, jerk."

His face lit up, both eyebrows shot up. "Oh, really? So you did tell her."

"No, no. I didn't. I mean I don't think I did. I just..." I curled my legs underneath me. "...got caught in the moment."

"And?"

"Well she was so..." I couldn't find the words, "...you know. I mean I couldn't help it. I just really wanted to kiss her." I leaned my head back on the cushions. "She was being all sexy and alluring all night. She was always touching or staring or saying things." I sighed. "I mean we were really drunk," I chuckled, "really drunk." My hangover was evidence of that.

"You think it was just becuase she was drunk?" He sipped at his coffee.

"Wasn't it? I get that it's not always the reason but in this case, I defer to it."

"Why? You've been pining over this girl forever. If I were you, I'd take it as win. It's not like she didn't want to kiss you? Or didn't she?" He nudged at my arm.

"Well," I thought back to it and remembered Bellamy's interruption. I smacked him on the leg. "If you didn't barge in when you did, I'd have a definite answer for you."

"Ouch." He smiled playfully. "Oh, come on. Just ask her out already."

"Ask her out?" I looked at him incredulously. "Are you actually serious?"

"I'm dead serious! Why would I even say it." I smacked him again. "What? Why is that so hard to believe. Ask her out. She'll say yes." He used a throw pillow as a shield, jokingly avoiding another smack in the leg. "From what I could tell, she wants you. Bad."

In that moment, the wall cracked open. We both looked up and saw a very tired and sleepy Lexa, hair a mess, clothing wrinkled. A little part of me panicked as I remembered last night. Does she remember? Is she going to say something? Do I say something?

"I smell coffee. Please tell me there's more coffee."

"Yes. Here let me grab you some. Black?" Bellamy stood and made his way into the kitchen.

"Yes, please." She slowly made her way to the couch and at first, I thought she was going to sit across from me. To my delight, she plopped herself right next to me. She grabbed the throw pillow and I felt her body against mine. It served to wake me up way better than the coffee did.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, nudging her a little bit. I laughed as she groaned and leaned her head on my shoulder. I rested my cheek on her head. "That bad, huh? Don't worry, I get you." I raised my cup as affirmation. "I'm almost ready for cup number two." The feeling of her closeness felt so right. I cherished every second of it, even if it didn't mean anything.

"Coffee." Bellamy handed her a cup.

As he settled in across from us on the other couch, Lexa - to my disdain - sat up and held the coffee to her lips. Bellamy gave me a look, and I shot him back one, hoping Lexa didn't notice. "Ask her." He mouthed.

"Shut up." I mouthed back.

"Hey Lexa," Bellamy started. I glared at him as I took a sip of my coffee. "A bunch of us were going to go see that new Christmas movie tonight. It looked good in the preivews. Kind of a comedy sort of romance movie." Fucking Bellamy.

"You mean the musical?" She answered.

Bellamy shook his head. "No, no the other one. With that famous lead actress everyone's been raving on about." I would have pinched Bellamy so hard if it weren't for our unfortunate seating arrangements.

"Oh, yeah? That did look really good." Lexa looked over at me. I quickly turned my glare into a smile. I saw him laugh into his cup at the corner of my eye.

"Cool, sounds like a plan to me. I will feel like shit though, warning given. But nothing a bag of popcorn and candy can't fix."

I buried my smile into my cup as I looked over to Bellamy. He smirked and winked at me and all I could do was roll my eyes. My smile stayed right where it was.

* * *

"Bellamy," I stood in line at the movie theatre for popcorn, "where the fuck are you? The movie starts in five minutes." I looked around at the busy crowds and he was no where to be seen. In fact, I couldn't find Lexa anywhere either.

"Oh, did I say seven thirty?" He laughed over the phone. "I meant the nine thirty showing. Whoops," the sarcasm was so heavy over the phone, I could hear it dripping out. "Sorry. Guess I should've clarified."

"Bell, you are the worst—"

"What, it's not like you've never gone to the movies together before."

He does have a point. "I know, I know. But now you've got me thinking about the whole date thing."

"Well, here's your opportunity to continue where I so rudely interrupted last night." He laughed again.

"Bellamy, I swear to—" I jumped as I heard 'boo' in my other ear. It was Lexa, smiling. "I got to go." As I was hanging up, I heard him utter a quick chuckle and a 'have fun'.

"Hi, am I too late?" There was something about her in a beanie toque that had my fingers twitching and my insides doing backflips.

"You're right on time." I gestured to the two people still waiting in line in front of me. "There's like fifteen minutes of previews anyways. We won't miss anything."

She craned her head scanning the horizon of heads. "Where are the others?"

I put on my best smile, hoping it didn't look as forced as it felt. "They uh," I fidgeted with a string on my bag, "something came up so they're coming to a later showing."

Her face looked thoughtful. "Huh, well that sucks. It would've been nice to see Raven and Lincoln again." She shrugged. "More popcorn for me."

"Right." I swallowed a large lump in my throat. There's no reason to be weird about this whole thing, I thought to myself. We've done this a thousand times.

* * *

"But you have to admit, the story wasn't all bad." Lexa and I walked out into the cold where, for once, the night air was clear and the piles of snow on the ground sparkled.

"It was really funny, I'll give it that."

We laughed as we recounted some of the more ridiculous moments of the movie. The night was ending, but I didn't want it to. Not yet.

"Hey, you want to get a coffee or something up at the coffee shop down the block?" It was the same one we went to a few weeks back. It is our place after all. And I liked that idea more than I cared to admit.

The way she looked at me had my breath hitching in my throat. I didn't know what it was. Just every time she did it, I immediately felt like I needed to look away, not because it was uncomfortable, but because I felt like she could see every thought and emotion in my busy brain. Not to mention the stupid blush that always found its way onto my pale skin.

"Of course. I'm always up for coffee, especially if we're going to our little shop." My heart skipped a beat. Ours.

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly."

We walked in silence for a ways after that. I was caught in my head looking at the sky. I remembered back to the feeling of Lexa's warm breath, the texture of her jacket under my finger tips. I sighed to myself. Am I really going to spend all my time worrying about whether she likes me or not? Wasn't yesterday enough?

I looked at the beautiful brunette beside me, her pace matching mine. This is stupid. So stupid.

"Well, here we are—"

As Lexa reached for the door handle to the coffee shop, I grabbed her arm. In an instant, I saw her head turn, I felt her breath on my face, and before I could change my mind, my lips crashed onto hers.

At first, it was urgent, it was nervous. I pressed against her just long enough to maybe send my message across. There could be a multitude of possible outcomes and each of them flooded into my mind, sending me closer and closer into a panic.

I went to pull away but suddenly, all of the panic faded away as I felt Lexa gently cup my face to bring me back to her. I felt the kiss come again but this time, there was no crash. She was soft with her touch and it sent shivers across my skin.

I sighed into her just before we finally broke away from each other. She stayed close, leaning her forehead on mine, and I felt my insides do backflips again. I didn't dare open my eyes yet, just not yet.

"Suddenly, I'm not thinking about coffee anymore." I heard her voice and laughed softly. My whole body was buzzing as she rubbed her hands up and down my arms.

"One could argue that I wasn't really thinking about coffee at all." I took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly.

We finally broke apart, but not before Lexa took the opportunity to place another kiss on my lips. "Just wanted to check again, just to make sure I wasn't imagining it all. You're real. This is real."

I giggled. "Yes, I'm real."

She smiled wide and shook her head, almost embarrassingly. "It's nothing, never mind."

* * *

A/N: If you've enjoyed reading this little story so far, leave a review and let me know what you guys think about our characters and where they're going. This may make you want to read it again but a lot of this stems from real feelings, and real times, real memories, which I think is why I'm enjoying writing about these two a lot more than I thought I would. The end of this chapter seems finite, but even I have to admit to myself that there's probably going to be more in the weeks to come. Let me know what you all think.


	5. Chapter 5

**Unrequited Love - Chapter 5**

I had thought that I had shamelessly watched her, fantasized about her, thought of nothing but her like some crazed hormonal teenager before, but after just a little taste, I was hooked. I could still feel the electrifying tingle on my lips.

We, as one would assume after such an event, didn't end up staying for coffee. Instead, we walked back to Clarke's. It was getting late but I really only had two concerns. One being that I didn't know if I would be able to sleep if I had caffeine mixed in with all of the adrenaline I had running through my bloodstream. The other was exactly what you'd think. If I really were a hormally crazy teenager, how could I possible sit civily beside or even across from this beautiful woman without going bat-shit crazy?

We made it to the front of her place in what felt like no time at all and I froze for a second at the bottom of the steps. I was convinced that any step further would be a bad idea.

"Clarke," my voice was almost a growl, which I definitely didn't mean but couldn't control, "wait." She was already on the third step before she turned around. "I'm going to be really honest with you, because I feel like it's just that kind of night." I saw a smile flit across her face. I looked up at her. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you," I started, "and I mean it's been a long, long time. If I step any closer to that door, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from doing it again."

She laughed and took a step down so that she was just within reaching distance. My hands clenched in my pockets. "Who says I wouldn't want you to do it again?" God, she really has no idea the affect she has on me, I thought as I felt a small fire spark in the pit of my stomach.

I shook my head. "Tonight turned out to be perfect, really perfect." I let my eyes roam over her face, her lips, and her neck as I looked down at my boots. "I don't want to ruin it. And if I go up there," I looked up at the door just a few steps away, "I probably won't want to leave." I tried to express it as best I could, suppressing the lust bubbling up inside of me. "Whatever is going on right now, I want to keep it pure. I don't want to rush into something I know can wait. Trust me, I don't want to wait."

At the realization of what I was saying, I saw a cute pink flush settle on her cheeks. "Oh." Okay, that was a better answer than I was expecting.

"Don't get me wrong, I really, really, really so badly want to walk up there, with you." I emphasized. "Every fibre of my being is telling me to shut up," I heard her giggle, which I took as a good sign, "I'm being honest with you because I'm tired of not being honest about it, about how I feel, whatever that may be right now."

"Okay." She sighed with a playful smile. There were so many mixed emotions in my head and even if that was the answer I was looking for, it served only to make the flame grow stronger.

"Don't look at me like that or I'm going to throw all resolve out the window and trash everything I just said." Her laugh echoed in the night and I so desparately wanted to hear it again, and again. I've heard it before but it was like I was hearing it for the first time.

"What you mean to say is if I just so happened to take another step down," which she did, "tell you that it's really cold and you should come inside and warm up," her fingers trailed the frame of my face, "you'd stay?"

I swallowed hard and I felt a shiver rock my body, ending between my legs. "Kind of, yeah."

"It's been a really long time for me too, you know." She whispered.

I closed the space between us in a desperate and hungry kiss. I ran my hands through her blonde waves, and I held her close. But as I sighed, I kissed her deeply, teasingly. The moan she let out made the flame roar.

"Is that a yes to coming inside?" She breathed her warm words into the cold air.

I chuckled and shook my head. "I'm dying to say yes. And I know you know that." She playfully pouted. "I really like you, Clarke. I have for a long time, and it wasn't even me that got us here. It was you." I kissed her lightly. "And I really could get used to this." I kissed her again. "So I'm not going to fuck it up."

"Okay, okay. I really should appreciate this chivalrous approach more than I am right now." Her grinning was simultaneously the cutest and sexiest thing.

"How about we get that coffee tomorrow?" I blurted. I just wanted to see her again.

"I'd like that."

I watched her go and with a final wave goodbye, her door clicked shut. Was it silly that I wanted to do a happy dance?

* * *

I'll admit, I was nervous. It was early in the morning and I was about to ring Clarke's doorbell. I'd been standing there for some time, trying not to pace or I would have left a trench in the snow on the front deck. It was crazy, right? Just yesterday, I couldn't keep my hands off her. Today, I'm standing out in the cold staring at a doorbell. What was I going to say? Was it alright if I kissed her? At least it was a beautiful day, with the sun coming up and not a cloud in the sky. The streets looked like a winter wonderland.

Here goes nothing, I thought. I rang the bell. Time ticked by. Huh, that's weird. I rang it again. Of all of the people I knew, she was the only true morning person. I could hear the muffled echo of the bell behind the door.

Suddenly, I heard the door lock slide.

"Good morning." Sleep was still evident in her voice. I had to laugh. She was so fucking adorable.

"You're doing this on purpose." I smiled as I took in the view of the bed-headed blonde. She looked like she just woke up with a hoodie wrapped around her and a cozy looking pair of pajama pants on.

"I am not." So cute. "I couldn't sleep." She leaned into the door frame and smiled. "Hmm." Her voice was kind of sexy in the mornings. "I guess you're going to have to come in. I have to get changed."

I shook my head, still laughing. "Smooth, real smooth." She cracked the door open and as I walked up to her, I paused and leaned in for a quick playful kiss. "You're funny. I'm staying downstairs."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She giggled. This playful banter was turning me on.

I kissed her again, deeper, longer and with my hands caressing her waist. She moved off of the door frame to let us both into the house, never breaking herself away from me as she seductively lead the way.

As the door closed, Clarke was not shy about pressing up against me **,** so much so, that I found myself pinned between her and the front entrance. Her hands wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer. When I thought I was climbing out of that pit of lust, Clarke knew exactly what to do to pull me right back. My body shamelessly responded with a pleasurable throb deep in my stomach.

"Clarke." I said as firmly as I possibly could in the situation. It was a very weak attempt. She hummed in response as she trailed kisses down to my neck. I shivered as a felt the moisture between my legs. "Clarke..." It was a whisper that turned into a suppressed moan as she slipped her warm fingers underneath my jacket, touching the sensitive flesh at the waistband of my pants.

"I know." she whispered into my neck as she planted one more gentle kiss **.** God it felt so good. She nuzzled her face into my jacket instead as she wrapped her arms around me. I sighed as I leaned us both back into the door. I linked my arms together behind her, relishing in the fact that we fit together like two jigsaw puzzle pieces.

"Ugh," her voice was muffled into my jacket, "And that's why I couldn't sleep, if you were wondering."

"That makes two of us." I tightened my hold for a split second. "Now go get changed." I unravelled us reluctantly and she made her way up.

* * *

A/N: A quick one to keep you guys waiting for more. Christmas is nearing and it's getting busier, not just for them but for me too! Another one coming up soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Unrequited Love - Chapter 6**

The crunching of fresh snow underneath my boots was oddly gratifying. The sun was up and the streets were busy with people doing last minute Christmas shopping. I had my hands in my pockets fiddling with little bits of loose thread while I tried very hard not to think of Lexa moaning at my touch as I kissed her against my door. I peeked over as we walked in stride and felt the heat creep across my face.

"Do you-" Lexa started.

"We should-" Whoops.

Both of us looked at each other apologetically. "Sorry, you go first." She said to me.

"No, no I cut you off. What were you going to say?" The only girl that could make me feel frazzled. Frazzled? I've never used that word before, I thought. I cleared my throat.

She looked at me for a second and a smile appeared on her face as she looked ahead shaking her head. "Nevermind."

"Nevermind?" I asked curiously. "You can't smile and say nevermind. What were you going to say?" I playfully nudged her with my shoulder as we continued to walk together towards the coffee shop.

"It was nothing. I'm just going to let it simmer on your mind for a little while." She laughed softly. "I do enjoy watching the gears spin sometimes. If you're good, I'll tell you later." She winked at me. Never has light flirting ever had me addicted and wanting more.

"Well, that's cruel. I want to know. You know I want to know," I sighed and kicked a ball of ice, "and yet you know full well that it's extremely hard to be good around you." To emphasize my point, I quickly stepped ahead of her and stopped, facing her completely. She just barely recognized our collision course as the front of our jackets brushed ever so slightly. She stopped in her tracks. I could visibly see her swallow nervously and her eyes were wide, not expecting such abruptly forced close proximity. The surge of excitement flowed through me at witnessing her crumble at my closeness, making me smile, satisfied with my work. "For example." I gestured at us with a quick nod and a raised brow as my hands stayed in my pockets.

"Damnit, Clarke." Her eyes went from wide to hooded and dark as quickly as my sass turned into a hitch in my breath. I listened to my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

"But," I whispered as she inched closer, "I still want to know." It took everything I had to brushed my lips over hers teasingly and pull back. I laughed as she heaved a frustrated groan. "You started it." It was my turn to wink as I turned and motioned for her to walk beside me as we continued to the coffee shop.

We spent the next bit of our walk just talking about nothing at all. That was the best part. It could've been nonsense to anyone who heard it but we just talked and talked away. I wished the walk was longer.

The doorbell rang a festive Christmas jingle as we entered, stomping the snow off our boots. It was loud, this wonderful sound of murmuring and spoons clinking as they were stirred in cups. Just as we scanned the room for seats, he saw two familiar faces, arms waving and beckoning us. "Lexa, look." I pointed. It was Bellamy and Octavia.

"Why look who it is! How are you two doing?" Bellamy's boyish smile was always one of his better charms.

"Clarke." His companion nodded towards me.

I smiled back. "O."

She bounced her eyes from me then to Lexa. "Lexa."

"Octavia."

"And Bellamy." I heard him say his name in confusion. "This is cryptic. What's happening."

I saw the exchange between Lexa and Octavia, realizing a hint of red growing on Lexa's sheepish face.

"Uh, I'm getting coffee. Coffee? Coffee." Lexa stuttered through her sentence and walked over to the counter in quick fashion.

I watched as she left. "What was that all about?"

Octavia giggled as she took a sip of her coffee. "Oh nothing. Get up to anything fun last night, Clarke?" The way in which she clicked her 'k' triggered a moment of recognition.

"Huh. You knew, didn't you?" I'd known Octavia for a long time and I smacked her arm jokingly, as we always did. "You fucking knew. Why didn't you tell me?"

She laughed. "I liked to watch you two squirm. I felt really bad for her. You really have no idea."

"Wait you felt bad for her? Hang on, I was thinking you knew about me, that I liked her. You knew she liked me?" The thought hadn't occurred to me. "Wait," I took this moment to pry, "how long had she liked me?"

"No, no, no. I'm not getting into anything. That's for you two to squirm about." She crossed her long legs and crossed her arms and smiled defiantly at me.

Lexa came with a cup in each hand. "Is it safe to come back?" The defeated tone evident in her voice.

"Mm! Before we get to that," Bellamy spoke up looking like he truly just remembered something in that moment. "We were heading to the Christmas market today. You guys should come. It'll be fun."

* * *

I had been to this Christmas market every year here. The location was always the same but this year, they brought in something new entirely. Where there once used to just be a warehouse by he dock converted into the cutest Christmas wonderland you would have every seen, now stood an even bigger lot with a huge lit maze with giant reindeer heads sticking out for all to see. Some stood tall and proud, others turned and tilted as if they were alive.

"What...is this place?" I heard Lexa's voice of wonder as she looked up at the radiant front entry arch. The glowing lights wrapped all the bare branches of every tree in sight. There were food trucks lined up along the edge of the fence and live music from a gigantic tent with what looked like picnic benches filling the inside.

"It's magical isn't it." I whispered, letting my eyes roam over her gorgeous face, completely in awe.

"I can't believe I've never been here before."

"Wait until you see the market." I pointed over to the warehouse. One of the barn side doors was wide open and people would trickle in and out. "Come on." I grabbed her hand and started leading the way. "Bell! Come find us in here when you're done there!" They we're standing in line at a food truck. I took the wave back as approval.

I eagerly watched the awe on her face as we broke the threshold of the entrance. High ceilings, booths set up all around. The wood chip dirt ground added just the right homie touch to the large bustling room of activities. Everything under that roof was handcrafted or homemade. There were booths just for soaps, booths for fine stone jewelry, and hand-sewn toques, scarves and mitts. We even found a booth that sold honey! Different kinds of honey! We were like grown children bouncing between every hand-stitched blanket to each handmade stocking. Like I had said, I had gone to these things before but with her, it was just that much better. She was adorable in this wondrous place.

"Clarke!" I whipped around when I heard Bellamy's voice from afar. I spotted him by the entrance. We walked over, having miraculously bought nothing but wanted to buy everything. "I wanna check out the new maze they put in."

"So do I!" I said with delight. "What's with the big giant reindeer statues?"

"I guess we're gonna find out."

And sure enough, as we made our way to the entrance to the maze, an enthusiastic and elven dressed man greeted us with folded brochures.

"Welcome to the Christmas Market Light Maze!" I opened up the brochure to find nine circles with each of santa's reindeers names in each one. "We've set up all nine of Santa's reindeer all over the maze — Rudolph included, let's not forget him — and at each reindeer, one of our staff members holds a stamp. When you find one, show them your brochure and they will gladly mark their respective circles. If you collect all the stamps before you exit the maze, there will be treats and goodies waiting for you!" We looked at one another at the sound of competition. Oh, it's on.

"Last one to the end buys a round of drinks at the bar tent?" Bellamy's challenge did not go unheard.

"You're on." Lexa piped in.

"Well, I'm on Bell's team. Ready, set, go!" Octavia was already running into the maze dragging her brother behind her as she yelled her countdown.

"Hey, not fair!" I yelled back but I was already being swept into the maze by Lexa's guiding hand in mine.

It was beautiful inside. The walls of the maze were made of bush lined fences and there was this extraordinary tunnel lined with lights that just made you feel like you were in a dream as you walked through it. Even as competitive as we were, Lexa and I stopped for a moment to appreciate how beautiful it really was.

We ran around laughing, finding new routes and a million more dead ends, or so it felt. We had found each and every reindeer but one. You would think the last would be Rudolph but it was Prancer! Where the hell was Prancer?

"Clarke! Look!" We turned a corner and there was a little space set up with straight wires up overhead. Hung very closely together were long ten foot lines of glowing lights, very thin ropes, only hands-width of space between each glowing rope. We walked up to it and decided that walking through it was probably the point. But as we walked in, we realized it was a short mirrored tunnel, making it look larger than it was.

"Oh, wow." I walked a little bit ahead and used my arms to gently push the lights aside as I made my way through this ocean of lights. It took my breath away.

I rubbed my freezing hands together and blew warm air into them as I looked around for the exit that would lead us to Prancer.

"Here, let me." Lexa came up in front of me and gently cupped her hands around mine. She carefully brought the bundle to her lips and blew warm air into our hands.

Oh, god. I swallowed. It was such a sweet and gentle gesture yet my body responded with jolts of pleasure shooting from my hands to the rest of the limbs. It didn't help the way she looked at me as she wrapped her fingers firmly around mine as if to trap the warm air there.

I yanked her toward me without warning using our linked hands to pull her towards my lips for a quick kiss. But as she hovered frozen in time, I leaned in again for a slightly longer one. And then another, and another as I felt her grip loosen around my hands. I freed them and thrust them immediately up to cup her face to pull her in closer.

Fuck, I thought as I felt her hands run along my arms to my shoulders and down to rest on my waist. I let my fingers massage her scalp as I slid them back further and further still, trying to bring her even closer, if at all possible. The ache in the pit of my stomach was unbearable. The need I felt for her touch was inexplicable. I felt her tongue against mine and I nearly lost it.

I let out an involuntary grunt as I felt my back crash onto the mirrors ever so firmly. I suppose the tables had turned—I was pinned. And it was hot. The junction between my legs throbbed heavily as I felt the moisture pool with each passing second. I pushed my pelvis up against her, searching for the friction I so desperately needed. I wished I didn't have so many layers on.

We heard a group laugh off in the distance and we broke our heated kiss, chests rising and falling, panting from pure unanswered sexual tension and racing heartbeats. I still had her close and I was still pinned.

We heard footsteps coming closer so she let herself unravel from me as we adjusted our hats and jackets, blushing and smiling like two crazy teenagers.

"We should head to the end. Bellamy and Octavia are probably waiting." Her smile was genuine and happy.

"Hang on, just one more thing." I said as I lead her to Prancer, the last reindeer on our list. He was just passed the ocean of lights. "There," I said as we got our stamp, "all set."

"Guess we're buying drinks."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the delay! It's been an exam heavy couple of weeks and now that I've finished up, I figured I'd celebrate. The Christmas Market in this chapter is a real place where I live. I know there are lots more out in the big wide world but this place holds a special place in my heart. As always, please leave a review, I'd love to hear from you. Stay tuned for more!


	7. Chapter 7

**Unrequited Love - Chapter 7**

"Okay. Here's our stop." Bellamy pulled over to the curb and parked the car for me as I carefully made my way up and around the snow mounds.

"Thanks for the ride, guys." I said and I closed the passenger door and waved from the sidewalk. Octavia stuck her arm out of the window while Clarke waved through the rear window. I giggled and rummaged for my keys as I made my way to the lobby door. My apartment was set right smack in the middle of downtown, which I absolutely loved. I didn't need a car to go anywhere really and everything I needed was within walking distance.

We had spent most of the afternoon at the Christmas market by the dock. Clarke and I were most definitely out of the maze last as we saw Bellamy and Octavia eating the treats they earned for finding all of the reindeer and gathering all the stamps. But when we made it to the bar tent, Bellamy just bought the first round anyway. I knew I liked him for a reason, not only because he's a nice guy, but from what I've seen, he's like the best guy.

I waved my fob on the sensor by entry door and made my way to the elevator, tapping the button and waited. As I listened to the hum of the inner workings behind the steel doors, I found myself smiling as I remembered the tingle on my lips. I almost felt bad feeling that ridiculously happy. Everything thought, every breathing moment, she was on my mind. It was like a sickness, one I welcomed with open arms. How surreal it was.

I came up to my floor. Habitually, I unlocked my door, threw my keys on the side table by the door while shrugging my jacket off and hanging it almost all in one motion. Hmm, I thought as I took a breath in and exhaled, feeling all tension leave my body. I smiled. Home sweet home, I thought. The idea of getting into comfy clothing and making something to eat was more than satisfactory as I laid my phone down on the kitchen counter and made my way into my room.

But as I reached to tug my shirt off, my phone started buzzing. "Hmm?" I peaked over. It's the buzzer downstairs.

"Hello?"

"Um, hey." Well what do you know.

"Clarke?"

"Yeah." And there was a pause. That's strange. Was something wrong?

"Here, let me buzz you up." And I clicked the button. A small jolt of panic surged through me. I hung up and went to change quickly, convincing myself everything was fine. The knock came, and another involuntary jolt passed through me.

I carefully pulled the door open. "Hey."

"Hi." She was fidgeting with her fingers. "I, uh, Bell and O left." I stared at her, not entirely sure what expression I had on my face. I just knew the panic was slowly seeping it's way out and was being replaced by something entirely different, but very very familiar. "Am I allowed to come in?" She asked with an uncertain smile and a nervous giggle. I continued to stare. "Um, Lexa?"

Fuck it.

I cranked the door wide open and stepped aside, not saying a word. She walked in. I closed the door. I locked the door.

As she turned, all reason and suppressed emotion, all of the tension built to this point exploded in one go. I grabbed her shoulders to make sure she was still, and mostly because I knew with my new found surge of adrenaline that I needed to make sure I wouldn't push both of us over.

I captured her mouth with desperation, with need. My chest was pounding. I squeezed her shoulders when I heard her low moan. Her arms came up around my neck and I wrapped my arms tight around her. She moaned again and I took advantage of the moment. I let my tongue probe, hungry to hear her moan again. Something was telling me that I wouldn't be disappointed.

Her fingers ran through my hair, rubbing my head. It felt amazing, I loved it when she did that. I eagerly slipped my hands just underneath her jacket, dragging my hands up, around, side to side against her mid section, against her back just wanting to feel her. I growled into our heated kiss as the jacket hindered my exploration, so I came up, feeling around for the zipper. As if being totally in sync, she was already pulling her arms out of the jacket as the zipper came down.

Not a second was wasted as the jacket dropped and her hands were back around me, scrunching handfuls of my shirt. I let my hands on her waist as I firmly gripped, carefully walking us around the obstacles in my apartment.

"Ow, fuck!" I stubbed my toe on the corner of the kitchen counter. It was the strangest feeling. It hurt a lot but I was laughing; I was laughing in pain. My body, my brain was a complete mess.

I heard her laugh and she was so close that I felt it shake through her body. I kissed her again as I limped a few more steps ahead. Bedroom's too far, I thought. And why the fuck do I have so many things in my house?

The mix of frustration and sexual tension was powerful and probably more dangerously effective than any amount of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I squeezing my hands on her perfect ass and lifted her up. The feelings of her legs instinctively wrapping around my waist made me groan. She was so fucking sexy.

I took all of two long steps to the couch and practically dropped us onto it with a poof of cushions and throw pillows. The feeling of her warmth underneath me was intoxicating. She moved and arched in ways that rubbed me in all the right places. The gratifying surge of pleasure that shot from my centre to my limbs made my head spin.

Finally free of that jacket, I ran my hands underneath her wooly sweater all the way up to grasp at her breasts through her lacy bra. I slowly squeezed but didn't stop to linger. I kept my hands going up until I pulled her sweater off. Her blonde curls splayed over the white of the couch, her dark bra encasing perfect plump breasts, her skin absolutely perfect, and she looked stunning. Her eyes were heavy, hooded and dark, not a single speck of colour in sight.

We heaved and panted as my hair curtained over her face. We were silent. And the tension was heavy.

She abruptly sat up, pushing me back and I sat on my heels. I was about to say something when she crashed her lips onto mine and had her hands pulled at the hem of my shirt. She dragged her fingers across my stomach and all the way up my sides, up my back. I let out a satisfying breath as she started trailing kisses along my jaw, along my neck. Holy fuck, I thought as my eyes shut, feeling every tingle and shot of pleasure everywhere.

I felt my bra slack. She let her hands pull everything, my bra, my shirt, all the way up and over my head, leaving me topless and bare.

"God, you're gorgeous." I heard her whisper as she gave me a once over. The blush waved over me and I tried to take in as much air as I could. My heart was racing.

"Here," I said, leaning in close until my mouth was right at her ear, making sure my chest pressed against her, "let me help you with that." I reached over and undid her bra. I kiss her earlobe before I nipped at it gently, eliciting yet another sexy groan. I pulled the straps slowly along her arms and threw them to the other side of the couch. I kissed my way down her neck and pressed a hot lengthy kiss onto each perfect breast.

"Mmmm." She hummed as I cupped each one in my hands, continually kissing them, squeezing them gently. "Oh, god." The breathy moan came as I took one hard nipple into my mouth. I sucked lightly and flicked my tongue over her. She squrimed and brought her hands up to my head, massaging, urging me on. I took the other in my mouth, administering the same treatment, dragging my tongue in slow circles. "Ugh..." She arched, trying to bring me closer.

I pushed her until she was lying back down, never letting the warmth of my mouth leave her breast. I let my one hand work it's way down and had completely forgotten about her pants. I growled and swiftly unbuttoned and unzipped them. "Can I?" I asked, sounding almost too eager as I looked up from her chest. She nodded, her breaths coming short and quick.

I didn't even bother to pull her pants off as I found the waistband of her underwear and slipped my hand underneath. I moaned into her breast and I felt the intense wetness on my fingers. My sounds, however, were drowned out by her sexy noises. I felt her spread her legs wider as I ran all my fingers through her folds. I couldn't take it. I dragged my fingers out and pulled them up to my mouth. I licked slowly and watched as she blushed and bit her lip. Mmm, she tasted good. Really, really good.

I trailed kisses along her taught stomach and down. I urged her to lift her hips and I dragged her pants along her sexy legs, one by one. With each freed foot, I planted a kiss on her calves, then her inner thighs until I splayed myself out on the couch and nestled right between her legs.

I heard her breath hitch as I looked up at her, and kissed her soaking wet centre. She whimpered at the touch. It was inexplicable the feeling of knowing I had this affect on her. It was intensely addicting. Without looking away, I stuck my tongue out and dragged a long heavy wet lick along her core. She groaned loudly in ecstasy as her head flew back and rocked side to side. The the sounds she made served to keep me consistently turned on. I could feel my own wetness pooling but I wanted nothing but to make her feel good.

I lapped and sucked at her with no real agenda or thought of how I was doing it. I just listened for her sounds, felt for her movements and paid attention to her squeezing hands on my head as I continued to make a mess. Without missing a beat, I slid a finger in and out, testing and teasing. Her thighs squeezed and relaxed in cycles around my head. I slid it in again, then two, her sounds getting louder and her breathing becoming more irratic.

"Fuck, Lexa-" She stuttered and moaned, a complete wreck from my touch. I slid my two fingers in again but this time, I curled them as I continued to thrust them in and out, my tongue flicking at a steady pace on her little hodded nub. I had only ever fantasized about this moment, dreamt it all up until I was hot and bothered. More than once has it crossed my mind, was this real? The feeling of her everywhere as I continued to make her squirm made my mind go white with need. She was letting me do this to her, and that was all I needed.

In no time at all, she screamed as she came crashing down. Her body convulsed as her legs squeezed my head. I slowed my pace but never left her as I helped her ride out her orgasm. Her clit throbbed underneath my tongue and the rush of fluid added to the mess I created.

"Holy fuck." She panted as the orgasm subsided. Her body relaxed and I pulled my fingers out, licking them clean. She groaned as she watched. "You have no idea how hot that is."

I laughed. "I might have an idea." I moved up so my stomach nestled between her legs. I folded my hands just below her breasts as I rested my chin on them. I could feel her pulse slowing, her breathing evening out.

Then I heard her stomach growl. There was a pause as we locked eyes. We burst out laughing.

"I suppose we really didn't eat very much today." I said, remembering our Christmas market excursion earlier that afternoon. "I mean alcohol doesn't exactly have much nutritional value, last I checked." I unfolded my arms and planted a quick kiss on her left breast. "There's a pizza place downstairs. I can grab something really quick. You okay with pizza?" I went to lift myself up but her legs wrapped around me, keeping me still.

"But what about you?" She ran her hands along my breasts, making the pit of my stomach rumble deliciously.

"Mmm," I shivered and leaned down to kiss her deeply. "Food first. Then you can do whatever you want." I said darkly and kissed her again. Her legs loosened and I got up, looking down at her. "Don't move." I stalked into my bedroom with nothing by my sweats on and grabbed my duvet. I carried it over and threw it over Clarke who giggled playfully, submerged in a fluff of encased duck feathers. "There. Stay put, I'll be right back."

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A/N: It only took 7 chapters. Was it worth it? Let me know. More to come!


	8. Chapter 8

**Unrequited Love - Chapter 8**

Wow, I thought as I stretch out on the couch, relishing in the comfort of the extremely soft duvet cover that Lexa threw over me. I blushed contently, enjoying the moment for as long as I could. That was amazing.

I stared at the ceiling and watched the sunlight from the window turn from yellow to orange as the sun began to set. I had definitely been to Lexa's apartment before and I was always jealous of where she was. The view from this balcony was breathtaking. It made our little town look extravagant in it's entirety.

I got up from the couch and wrapped the duvet around myself for warmth. The hardwood flooring sent a cold chill up my legs as I tip-toed to the balcony. I looked down through the window at the snow-covered streets, watching people make footprints while taking in the new sounds of the city from so high up.

I caught a glimpse of a photograph on the shelf out of the corner of my eye. Captured in perfect timing were two gorgeous people, laughing and holding each other. One look at the photo would make anyone's heart light up. It was the perfect picture of love and life.

I started reading the inscription, "In loving memory..." Her parents, I thought with a small gasp. She had only ever mentioned them in passing but never in very much detail. My eyes saddened a little bit. That's right, I thought to myself. They died in a tragic accident long before her and I even met.

Looking up at the rest of the bookshelf, I ran my fingers gently along the small collection of textbooks and novels, if you could call that collection small. There were fictional books of all kinds, organized by author I realized with a slight smile. Dork.

I looked around slowly and took in the space that was very Lexa. She made all this for herself, I thought. She made something out of nothing. She was strong, independent, and the sweetest person on earth. In all the years I'd known her, there was not ever a time where I had seen anything but the generous and caring Lexa I knew. Taking one last look at the photo of her parents, my heart broke a little bit.

The door clicked as the lock opened. I turned around, still wrapped completely in the fluffy duvet to see Lexa, pizza box in one hand, plastic bag in the other, with keys clenched in fist and what looked like a bank card pinched between her teeth. She caught my gaze and stood for a moment, smiled and mumble a "hi" as she began laying her things on the counter.

"That was quick." I heard myself say as I carefully made my way over to the kitchen, duvet dragging along. She really was one of the most amazing people I knew. I might have been experiencing extreme orgasmic aftershock and all of my emotions were bouncing everywhere, who knows. I had an overwhelming sensation of appreciation for her, who she was, who she was for me all this time. All I knew to be true was whatever it was I was feeling right then, it wasn't hunger for food.

She had just turned to the sink to wash up as I came up behind her. Still gripping the edges of the duvet, I opened it up enough to wrap my arms around her, encasing us both. I felt her jump at the contact but soon felt the small shake of laughter as she shut the water off. I rested my chin on her shoulder and she leaned back to rest her head on mine. We stood there for a second in completely silence.

She hummed, "It's so comfy yet oddly satisfying to feel you naked on my back right now." I giggled and wrapped my arms a little tighter. "Hey," she whispered. She put her hands on mine as she wiggled her way around, soon facing me. She looked down between us with a smile and a raised brow, but I must've had a weird face on. Her expression changed immediately to one of pure concern. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

I instinctively shook my head, as if to say it was nothing. It was definitely something that I didn't feel the need to ask, but more, to express.

"If it's because I basically pounced on you through the door, I'm really sorry." Of course she would think it was her fault. "I didn't mean to do anything to hurt you." There was a bought of worry in her body language. I felt her stiffen, ready to pace, ready to ramble her apologies for whatever it was she thought she did, but I wasn't going to let it get that far.

I pressed my whole body against hers as I kissed her softly and let my hands rub fist-fulls of duvet up and down her back. I felt her relax and lean us against the kitchen counter and sigh into the kiss. Her hands slid slowly along my bare hips to link and rest on the small of my back.

Stepping forward, I pressed my thigh between her legs just so. The elicited groan was gratifying.

"-but food," she mumbled in between kisses as I deepened each one further and further, hands getting greedier, hips grinding heavier.

"Food can wait." I whispered.

As I said it, I let the duvet slip out of my hands and I spread my fingers wide against her back, pressing and kneading. The blanket slipped over my shoulders and pooled around our feet. I felt the cold on my skin but the burning heat from her hands rubbed the cold away. I slid my hands to the front of her hips and hooked a few fingers on the waistband of her sweats. With a slight tug at her pants, I brought her even closer to me. I heard her growl low as she let me into her mouth, my tongue hot against hers.

My thigh was still pressed against her and I could feel her grind against me as she tightened her grip around my waist. She wasn't going to be driving the ship this time, I thought.

Firmly gripping her thigh, I propped her up onto the counter so she was elevated just a little bit, letting her feet dangle over the edge. I gripped the hem of her shirt and pulled it right off over her head, excited to see she didn't even bother to put her bra back on.

She brought her hands up to cup my face. I trailed my hands up along her arms until I had them covering hers. Gently, I curled my fingers around hers and slowly peeled them off my face and brought them up over her head. I had her pinned up against the cupboards with her long sexy legs wrapped around my waist, slowly kissing my way along her neck. I travelled to her earlobe buried under her lush brown hair, making sure to nibble my way up.

"Mm, that tickles!" The sounds she made were a confusion between erotic pleasure and laughter. I was really cute actually. I nibbled again. "Clarke, serious, it tickles." She started pinching her neck trying to get away from my mouth as she giggled again.

I had her locked in with my hands on her wrists just up against the cupboards. I had her trapped. "Tickles?" I asked with feign confusion. "What ever do you mean?" I felt her squirm to get away from me but she could go nowhere as my body stayed nestled between her legs.

I was addicted to the feeling of her pressed against me. I wanted more. I always wanted more.

I shuffled her wrists over to settle in my one hand, keeping her pinned but freeing my one hand. I snaked my hand down and hungrily slipped in passed the waistband of her sweats.

In one swoop, I ran my finger lightly along her folds, feeling the dampness. As I kissed my way back to her mouth, I slipped a finger in without warning, feeling her moan into our kiss. I moaned in unison, finding her ever so intoxicating.

I swiftly slipped another finger in and stretched my fingers around. I could feel her walls contract and release with every wiggle of my fingers. It sent shivers through the pit of my stomach.

My body was on fire. I was completely, ridiculously and utterly turned on. Need I say more?

With steady ease, I pumped my hand in and out if her, making sure my thumb drew small circles around her clit as I did so. She groaned and squirmed around, trying to release herself from my grip, but to no avail. She was stuck. My pace quickened and she released our kiss, breathing heavily and loudly.

I brought my mouth down to capture a perfect nipple, licking and teasing. She whimpered with another heavy breath, body rocking and insides stiffening. With a gentle bite on her nipple, I was pleased to feel her body betray her in the sexiest way.

She came hard around my hand as I carefully kissed her chest everywhere my lips could reach. Her body shook violently, her legs squeezing me, her body arching. But her sounds, the noises she made, oh god.

I slowed, but I didn't stop. My hand continued to thrust in and out as I replaced my thumb with my palm against her clit. She moaned with no inhibitions, head falling back against the cupboards.

I let her wrists go to wrap my arm around her body to keep her close, and keep her still as I intensified my movements.

"Fuck, Lexa." I found myself cursing as I felt her free hands squeeze my breasts, each fitting her hands perfectly. Her thumbs rubbed circles around achingly aroused nipples and I felt myself grind my hips against the counter instinctively. All I felt was the cold counter top and I hissed in all of my lusty messiness as I fought to focus everything on what I was doing to her.

She took my face in her hands and groaned as she captured my mouth with hers. I could feel her walls tighten around my fingers again and I knew she was close. And by the incoherent sounds she was making, she was dangerously close. I pushed my mouth hard against hers as I increased the angle and pressure.

She broke our kiss abruptly, screaming in ecstasy as her body shook aggressively. She wrapped every limb around me tight, and I felt every wave of her orgasm rock her body.

I buried my face in her neck as I slowed my fingers. I listened to her panting to regain control of her breathing. I felt her limbs relax and slowly slump around me in lazy links. I pull my hand out of her slowly, making sure to drag on every inch of her insides.

"Mmm." She exhaled loudly.

I lifted my head to look at her in all her beauty. "There, now we're even." I said with a sly grin. I stood up straight, her legs still wrapped around me, and I place a wet Lexa-covered finger in my mouth. She watched me intensely with hooded lids. "I stand corrected," I said as I winked, "now we're even." I kissed her gently before I peeled myself off of her.

"Awe," she mewled as I stepped over the duvet towards the food.

"Now it's time for pizza."

I could hear her slink down the counter and make her way to me. With the box in hand, I first felt the feeling of Lexa naked chest pressed up against my back, but it was soon followed by the comforting texture of the duvet wrapping around my waist, encasing is both in a giant cocoon of fluff. I laughed, remembering my very similar gesture earlier, and I felt her plant a kiss on my shoulder.

She lead us carefully to the bedroom, waddling together.

"Oh, by the way," I said as we walked through the doorway, "you said, you would tell me what you were going to say this morning—"

"If you were good." She planted another kiss on my shoulders.

"Well—"

"You were not good." She laughed. "Not even remotely close to good." She planted another kiss on my earlobe, still waddling us towards the bed.

"Awe, but seriously though, I want to know."

"Hmmmm," she mumbled into my neck, "let me think about it."

"Lexa!" I laid the pizza on the bed and turned in the blanket to face her. Her smile looked so...shy? But all happy at the same time. It made my heart melt.

"All I was going to say was..." she blushed a little bit. "Well, I mean I was just going to ask you if you, you know," she shrugged, "wanted to maybe, um, go out, with me."

She stumbled through it, but I was smiling with flutters in my stomach all the same. Oh, Lexa.

"I realize now that that sounds ridiculous, given that we're doing this all backwards." She blurted out quickly.

"You want to go on a date—with me?" I asked as I trailed my arms around her under the duvet.

"Well, yeah." She said it so matter-of-factly. "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

My heart was so full. I couldn't, for the life of me, stop smiling. I started to giggle.

"What?" She said, chuckling because clearly, my swell of emotion was contagious. "Is that a yes? Or is that a hard no. Because, I mean, as long as I'm allowed to do this," she gestured to us naked and entangled in each other, "Sure, it's not what I was initially going for but now that I'm here, I can live with it." She laughed, playfully kissing my neck.

"Yes, I would love to go on a date with you."

"Really?" She murmured into my neck.

"Yes, really. I mean, this arrangement sounded good too. But this way, I get both. I'm selfish that way." I joked.

"Mhmm." The vibrations from her voice on my neck sent a pleasurable wave through me. "Okay good. But we'll worry about that later." She kicked the pizza aside just so, and plopped us both onto the bed, laughing together, landing in a cloud made of pillows and our cocoon duvet.

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A/N: let's just say that Christmas has me in a good mood these days. Leave a review! Next chapter up soon :)


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